You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
