You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
