I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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