every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
