This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize