This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
