I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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