we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
