i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
