But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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