genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
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Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
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Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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