Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Randomize