Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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