i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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