I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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