Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
