Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
