Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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