Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
