cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize