Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
