Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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