Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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