The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm always down for nudity.
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