my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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