My girlfriend figured out who you are.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
