Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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