I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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