Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The uberlube is also flammable
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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