Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
My pussy is not your playground.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
