Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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