I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
She announced her abortion via fbk
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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