sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Ketchup is God's man juice
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
