terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize