Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
