So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
