Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
