You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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