dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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