it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
