He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize