Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
No I am not eating basil off your cock
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
