I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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