Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Randomize
