Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
