I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
