so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
