Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
