So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
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