yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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