Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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