So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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