His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize