no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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