I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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