Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I need to calm my uterus...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
