Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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