I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
