Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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